As a private practitioner, my client base is primarily comprised of busy, hard-working people from varied circumstances such as double income, single income, sole-parent, blended family and everything else imaginable.
The common denominator among the majority is lack of time to relax, take a holiday, or simply catch a break. For many a common approach to this dilemma involves a “when, then” mindset.
“When work settles down, then I can plan a holiday”;
“When the kids are a bit older, then I will have time to (insert enriching activity here);
“When (insert major task here) is done, then we will head away for a break”.
The trouble is, “then” never seems to come.
There is an oft-quoted recommendation in the budgeting and savings sector which goes “Pay yourself first”, whereby 10% of a person’s income is paid to a savings or investment account, the remaining 90% then being allocated to various financial commitments. The reasoning here is that people won’t be able to train themselves to save if they pay themselves last.
Recently, I have been assisting my clients to adopt a similar reasoning with time.
For some people, the prospect of taking time out, switching off their phone, or even setting some reasonable boundaries with their employers (e.g. “please don’t call me on my day off”) can be a truly foreboding experience.
“But what if….??” questions are usually delivered in rapid-fire succession:
“But what if a client calls me and I don’t answer?”
“But what if my employer needs me?”
“But what if I miss out on (insert FOMO here)?”
It often turns out that these fears are unwarranted, over-exaggerated, or just plain wrong.
To “pay themselves first” with time, I ask my clients to pick a clear weekend in the future on their mobile phone calendar which they then screen out with the words “Not Available, “Holiday”, Break” – anything to forcefully remind them that for that period of time, they are as reachable as sending a text to the interstellar part of the universe (which is where the spacecrafts Voyagers 1 & 2 have just crossed over into, over 40 years after they took off from NASA).
They then enter a four, five, or six week “recurrence” appointment with themselves, adapting the six-weekly recurrence to work in with public holidays.
Suddenly, a minimum of nine free weekends (plus public holidays) materialise in their lives, every year. The relief on their faces is palpable – and will remain so, as long as they exercise some self-discipline in enforcing the holidays.
Try this on your phone – I think you will be delighted by the results.
Steve is the Director of Relationship Matters Ltd. He holds two applied Bachelor's degrees (Counselling & Addiction) and a P.G. Dip. in Applied Social Practice. Steve is married with two children and lives in West Auckland.