I am a burden
This lie is the ‘platform’ lie that anchors a number of other lies that the Suicide Lies series will cover over the next few months.
The heavy load of ‘burden’ thinking, feelings, and beliefs most often tries to convince people that they are in some way redundant to the world, and that others would simply be better off if they were not present.
Yet, indulging such a lie clouds one’s ability to consider what they do have to contribute, and there’s always something to contribute, be it to someone, or to something, in some way.
Such thinking also robs others of the choices they are making to support others in whatever fashion they may choose - those who care don’t actually need the permission of those they love to choose to care for them.
There does not have to be a set rule as to what this contribution MUST be, because things in life can and do change.
Our response is to adapt without losing ourselves in the process.
All that is needed is a willingness to test the possibilities of what this contribution COULD be.
The beauty of such a process is that there’s no demand to be ‘right’, but just simply a willingness to be wrong, while one journeys towards finding their place (or places) in the world.
This journey isn’t meant to be embarked upon alone, because a lot of other people out there, right now, are struggling with the same goal.
It behoves us to find them, or let them find us, as we do not have to do this journey called life, all alone.
The fact is, we all matter, we always did, and will, regardless of those who didn’t get this critically important life memo, which may also include us.
Sometimes we just need to lean on others, and leaning, far from making us a burden, simply makes us vulnerable for a time which in turn, affirms our humanity, which then gives others permission to be vulnerable with us as well.
People in crisis are NOT a burden. They may HAVE a burden, which by definition is too heavy right now for them to carry on their own.
Be sure to remind anyone you may know who may be in crisis, of this distinction, for as many times as they may need to hear it.
Steve is the Director of Relationship Matters Ltd. He holds two applied Bachelor's degrees (Counselling & Addiction) and a P.G. Dip. in Applied Social Practice. Steve is married with two children and lives in West Auckland.